J is for Jokes

Just in case any of you need cheering up, I have gathered together a selection of funny (or groan-inducing, depending on your point of view!) jokes. If you have any you want to share, post them in the comments and let's all have a laugh during these troubled times. Stay strong and stay safe.

• A cat was playing poker with his friend at the zoo. Half way through the game he threw down the cards and said, "I'm not playing with you any more." "Why not?" asked his friend. "Because you're a cheetah," he replied.

• Did you hear about the cat who swallowed a ball of wool? She had mittens.

• A man accidentally left a door open and let his neighbour's cat loose. The cat disappeared. He felt bad about this and when the cat had been missing for quite some time, said to the neighbour: "I feel awful, I'd like to replace your cat for you." The neighbour replied: "Great. How good are you at catching mice?"

• A mother mouse and a baby mouse are walking along when suddenly a cat attacks them. The mother mouse shouts “BARK!” and the cat runs away. “See?” the mother mouse says to her baby. “Now do you see why it’s important to learn a foreign language?”

• One day a kitten was playing rather boisterously and got his tail caught in a door, losing most of it. His mother picked him up by the scruff of his neck and ran out of door and took him to a shop. "What shop is this?" asked the little kitten. His mother replied, "It's the re-tail store, silly." 

• A mother cat intervened when her two kittens were fighting. She boxed them round the ears with her paw and shouted, "Stop that you two!" which they did. "Now hiss and make up!"

• Cats always get their own way and do you know why? It's because they are so purr-suasive.

My sassy, grumpy cat Toffee is also taking part in the A to Z Challenge. Take a look here: www.notsosweettoffee.com 

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If you are a cat lover - especially a lover of the grumpier members of the species, this is the book for you. Written by Toffee who, despite her name, is the least sweet cat you can imagine. The world according to Toffee exists to serve her and woe betide anyone who forgets it. Paperback on left, Kindle version on right.

            

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